Do you find yourself extremely exhausted at times and unable to pinpoint the culprit tied to this lack of energy? The confusion may come when you have completed the purposely short to-do list... so why in the world are you still soo tired? Don't worry.. I see you!! Its not the 9-5 that gets your energy level to depletion.. it may not be your to-do list either. It's the workload that most don't speak about or the tasks that we aren't writing down. As parents, our to-do lists are extensive and never-ending. For me, when I'm writing mine, I don't include tasks such as dishes and picking up the odds and ends conveniently placed all around the house by my children. Those are a given and also the duties that will tire us out. We don't take into consideration that there's a shit load of other stuff that we don't take into consideration.
If you're already writing to-do lists, then kudos to you. I am not judging either way, but I will have to recommend this practice. It will save you a lot of time and brain power in the long run. But maybe our list needs to be a bit more detailed... or we can have more than one. There isn't a rule specifying that each person is only able to have one to-do list. That's insane. Also, you can just take into consideration that you will always have those unspoken tasks and plan accordingly. Maybe lessening the load that you account for will automatically allocate time to the unknown.
Since having 2 children, I give myself more wiggle room surprisingly. When I only had my daughter, the pressure placed upon my self was unrealistic at times. I don't know if it's the therapy, (yes therapy is helpful and we can chat about that later) or the realization that sometimes, physically, I'm just unable to do it, the leeway has definitely helped. Making several to-do lists does not work for me, but feel free to try it. Some people are visual and have to actually be able to see all they have to complete. This would aid in the overexertion that comes from these invisible workloads.
If anyone has any suggestions, I'm definitely open to it. Just remember these invisible workloads can be the straw that breaks the momma's back. This is yet another reason to cut yourself some slack. You're carrying more than you even acknowledge and I'm sure you're killing it. Understand that invisible workloads aren't anything you can escape, its just needs acknowledge and prioritizing.