7 months postnatal and this has been one helluva ride filled with ups, downs, and around the towns. I've come to the conclusion that having multiple children isn't more difficult or easier... its just MORE. Simply MORE. More laundry, more food, more time, more everything. But it also includes more kisses, more hugs, and more love; So it basically balances out. Regardless, it can all still be extremely exhausting and overwhelming at times. It's soo important to stop and continuously evaluate your feelings, while in the moment. This is easier said than done, but it's a must. I've began making conscience efforts to improve my quality of life and it begins with daily self check-ins. Asking questions like, "how do I feel right now?" and, "what am I doing in this very moment to improve or extend this feeling?" This assessment will aid in getting you through everyday life.
Even though my family expanded and I'm in the process of adjusting, life, as we know it, is continuously moving right along. My daughter is still excelling and engaging in extracurricular activities, while my son is making strives faster than expected. To be completely vulnerable, I usually feel like I'm playing catch up. I'm in the process of figuring out how to maneuver through it all and not feel left behind or over-exerted. I want to be better and do better; for myself and family. As stated before, declaring that I want a change and committing to the process has been tough but beneficial.
I started my journey by listing what changes I desired to make happen. This initiates accountability. I am recognizing my flaws and dealing with them head on. Next, I differentiate between which issue can have a more immediate change and what may take a little more time. You have to be completely honest with this step. It may be difficult to face, but it's important. Time is everything and you don't wanna waste any. Being honest allows you to strategically plan how to approach each flaw. Just because some will take longer than others is nothing to be ashamed of. The reality is that some habits are harder to break and recognizing that shows you're on the right track.
My immediate reaction, when I had a child, was to give it all that I had. This means all of my time and attention went to being a parent. Therefore, everything else fell by the wayside. This had a great impact on my daughter, but I am now trying to figure out what's next for myself. Not saying that I'm no longer dedicated to the development of my children, but I'm learning a little something about balance. This had to happen over time. For example, when I had my daughter I was anxious to get back to the "norm" because I needed to understand and identify who I've become after having a child. To further explain, when a woman becomes pregnant, there's a slight disconnect from the rest of society. So as soon as the baby is born, she's ready to show people that there was no real change. We don't want to be forgotten per se. The world is still moving while we're in this bubble. But, in actuality, everything has changed and it may be harder for some to face than others. Personally, I wanted to get back to "normal" desperately, not understanding that there was now a new normal. But I didn't realize until I had my second child. Every time a life-changing event occurs, we morph into a different version of the person we once knew. It's up to me to mold this "new me" into someone I have no problem displaying on a daily and works best for the success of my family dynamics.
This time around I'm allowing myself room to accept this change and develop it more. I returned to work after 4 months, and I must admit that it's been easier than expected. Prior to my return, I had to physically and mentally prepare for this readjustment. I spent some time away from my son everyday to eliminate the feeling of abandonment. This helped a lot. More than I thought it would. By the time I officially went back to work, I was ready. Ready to get back to the work/home balance and figure it out while in the moment.
I will continue to improve my home life and maintain this balance. This type of work is never-ending , but well worth it. As I continue to be better, my quality of life will ameliorate and thats works great for myself and those around me.